Cheech and Chong

Remember the saying “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!”? I saw a button the other day that read “Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade’s gonna suck”. I’ve been trying to make lemonade all day today. I took my vehicle in to get a sticky clutch seen about. I got a call from the service department informing me that my vehicle is not safe to drive and that my problem also involves my transmission. Then the mechanic told me something that added water and sugar; the problem is covered under warranty. Whew. I had to get a rental car and the rental dealer explained that they had only one vehicle, a Dodge pickup, available but they didn’t really want to let me use it. They explained that they got it back earlier that day and that it smelled terrible. They had cleaned it, doused it in air freshener, and left the windows down all morning but they could not get the stench of marijuana out of it. They let me sniff it before they agreed to let me use it. It wasn’t so bad. Smelled like disinfectant to me. At least it did until I’d driven about 2 miles with the windows up and the heater going. It reeked. I pictured Cheech and Chong skidding through the parking lot of Enterprise Car Rental in a cloud of smoke. On the bright side, the pickup has cruise control. The ride home was relaxing. I’m not advocating being a “Pollyanna” all the livelong day. We wouldn’t be authentic. We would be obnoxious. Sometimes life is sour lemons and all you can do is put your head in your hands and cry. But as Christians, we are not alone. We are embraced by the sweet, flowing love of Christ. I am thankful to be a part of this congregation who so graciously share with each other something better than sugar and water. Peace of Christ, Rachel (P.S. Will you read Psalms 139? You’ll be glad you did.)
-from Scottsboro CPC Newsletter 01-13-09

from the DOD 08-06-09

I just read the daily text reading for today which came from Mark 8:22-33: They came to Bethsaida. Some people brought a blind man to him and begged him to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village; and when he had put saliva on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, "Can you see anything?" And the man looked up and said, "I can see people, but they look like trees, walking." Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again; and he looked intently and his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Then he sent him away to his home, saying, "Do not even go into the village."
One evening Mary was playing “Beauty Shop” and I was her customer. She was brushing my hair and exclaimed “Oh no!” I said “What is it?!” She said “You’re turning into a grandma!” She was referring to the gray roots of my hair. Even though I found this amusing, I was a little addled. I have a wonderful hairdresser but I apparently don’t schedule my appointments close enough together. I started having my hair colored in my late 20s when I spotted 2 or 3 gray strands and I do not intend to know what my true hair color is for at least 10 more years. I had to miss my last appointment for my color and cut and I am having a heck of a time trying to get worked in before my next appointment. Needless to say I’m starting to sport some “Grandma Hair”. Getting desperate I accomplished a first for me last night. I colored my own hair. I chose a color with a red tint and now it looks like I slaughtered a pig in my bathroom. I must have touched every surface with that junk on my hands. Even though I look kind of like Dennis Rodman’s sister, Mary and Lydia were polite and merely said “Uh…. It’s darker…”
It’s hard for me to see things about myself; including the fact that I am getting older. I realize that I am not old, but I am no longer what you would consider a “young adult”. I look back on my younger years and wish that I had seen myself more clearly. I hope that I have learned some things about myself that I have been able to change. I think I have. But I know that I have a lot more to see or be aware of so that I can be the Disciple that Christ has called me to be. I think it’s neat that the blind man in the passage saw walking trees at first. Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again and the man looked intently before he could see 20/20. I think that maybe Jesus will have to lay his hands on my eyes over and over. I’m just glad that he doesn’t seem to mind. But I still refuse to see my gray hair for now. –Peace and Grace, Rachel

From the DOD: When I was a kid and I put my baby teeth under my pillow I remember getting a nickel or dime or occasionally a quarter. Not long before Mary and Lydia started losing baby teeth we went to Creative Discovery Museum in Chattanooga. The change I got back at the parking booth was dispensed in coin dollars. I decided this would be a wonderful thing for the tooth fairy to leave for my kids, so I collected the several dollars worth and put them up to use for this special purpose. Last night Lydia lost another tooth. The golden dollar coin had been just the ticket for the past couple of years, but Lydia was not looking forward to this treasure this time. She informed me that some of the kids in her class got $5 or $10 or $20 from the tooth fairy! Holy moly! If you see me walking around without a tooth in my head you’ll know that I cashed in! $20!!! I may have to call a parent’s meeting about this! I debated all evening about whether I would cave in. There was no way I was going to put a $20 bill under that pillow. Heck, I didn’t even have a $20 bill on me! No, I decided. I was going to stick to my guns. I said the tooth fairy brings dollar coins so the tooth fairy was bringing a dollar coin! End of story! Or so, I thought. I found the bag I kept the coins in and discovered that I had run out. I looked at the sweet face of my beautiful Lydia while she slept. I thought of a line I had read that very morning from Gilead, a novel by Marilynne Robinson. It’s the story of a minister facing death. He has a young wife and a son who he loves deeply. He decides to leave his son a family history. He writes: “There’s a shimmer on a child’s hair, in the sunlight. There are rainbow colors in it, tiny, soft beams of just the same colors you can see in the dew sometimes. They’re in the petals of flowers, and they’re on a child’s skin. Your hair is straight and dark, and your skin is fair. I suppose you’re not prettier than most children. You’re just a nice-looking boy, a bit slight, well scrubbed and well mannered. All that is fine, but it’s your existence I love you for, mainly…” I dug around in my wallet and found some cash. I wrapped 5 one dollar bills around a toothbrush and tied them with a ribbon. As I gently lifted Lydia’s pillow to collect her dainty little incisor and place the tooth fairy’s offering, I breathed in her hair, kissed her eyelids and whispered a prayer of thanksgiving for her precious existence. –Grace and peace, Rachel
“You are the one who put me together inside my mother's body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from you! I was secretly woven together deep in the earth below, but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything I would do. Your thoughts are far beyond my understanding much more than I could ever imagine. I try to count your thoughts, but they outnumber the grains of sand on the beach. And when I awake, I will find you nearby.” -Psalms 139: 13-18 (The Message)

From the DOD for Spire 03-02-09:
My cell phone I have had for almost 2 years finally died. I loved it. It was a simple bottom of the line phone but it never let me down. That is until it quit working. I’m not due for a new phone at a discounted rate until April, so I am using a friend’s spare phone. It’s one of those sweet newer models with all kinds of cool features. I’d wanted to try one out and she gave me the opportunity. It does have a lot of nifty features and it looks nice…. But it doesn’t close. It’s not a flip phone like I’m used to. The numbers are exposed. Have you seen that cell phone commercial on television where the man keeps accidentally calling his wife from his cell phone when he sits on it? She tells him that he “b***dialed“her again. Funny stuff. Until it happens to you. A friend of mine called me the other day laughing her head off… Apparently I had dialed John and Alonna Hughes’ number “inadvertently” when they were not home. She knew this because I left a message; or my derriere did; which was me yelling “LYDIA!!! Go potty if you’re gonna potty before we go! NOW!!! We are waiting on YOU!!! Hurry up and potty before we go!!! I mean it!!!” I sheepishly asked if I had been using my devil voice scream. She assured me that I sounded like the majority of mothers who are trying to get their children out the door when they are in a hurry. I want to be a calm, gentle mother. I don’t want my kids to grow up and think of me when they see “Rosanne” reruns. I want to be more like Jesus. Isn’t that what Lent is about? I want to share something I read on Spirithome.com: “Lent is the season for the experience of giving your life over -- in each moment, bodily, deliberately, to Christ and to what the Spirit is showing you. God wants you to surrender yourself, and let the Spirit work in you. In Lent, we take responsibility for our acts and thoughts, and treat certain of those as the killers they are. Lent is self-discovery of the parts of ourselves we don't want to discover, through prayer, fasting, and other disciplines. It is the opening up, the turning over to God, the repenting of our sins, the turning away from that which does not please God. Yet there is just a glimpse of Easter through the heavy clouds of Good Friday -- that Christ has taken the burden, and you don't have to carry it anymore. Don't you want to follow that kind of a God?” I know that I do…. Peace and Grace to you this season of Lent. –Rachel
We call Abraham "father" not because he got God's attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn't that what we've always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, "I set you up as father of many peoples"? Abraham was first named "father" and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, "You're going to have a big family, Abraham!" Romans 4: 17-18

From the DOD for Spire 02-09-09: Ash Wednesday is a day of repentance and it marks the beginning of Lent. It occurs 40 days before Easter (excluding Sundays). The observation of the liturgical year was new to me when I first came to this Church in the early 1990s and it intrigued me. Following the Christian year has made worship a much more profound experience for me. I’ll never forget the first time Mary and Lydia participated in our Ash Wednesday service. They were not too sure about whether they wanted to take the imposition of ashes. I had tried to prepare them for it, explaining that it was very important that they remain quiet especially at the close of the service when we received the ashes. Our turn to get up and go forward arrived. Mary was with me while Lydia was 2 or 3 people behind us with Ms. Audrey and their grandmother. She was still trying to decide if she wanted to do this. Aside from the hushed sound of people getting up and making their way through the line, the sanctuary was still. As we neared the front of the Church we could barely hear Pastor Roy as he placed ashes and said “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” During this somber moment, Mary turned to see Lydia in line and called out “Hey Lydia! Are you gonna get a cross on your noggin?” So much for somber… I recently read a sermon by a man named Jon M. Walton. In it he states “Ash Wednesday reminds us of two things, that we are dust and to dust we shall return… And the ashes remind us that we are fallen and we can’t get up on our own. We need God’s help. We need God’s forgiveness for our sin. And we need God’s love, like a mother who gathers her children to her to nurture and protect them. That is finally the hope that is scratched in the ash on our foreheads, that God’s love has reached all the way to earth, to the dust from which we have been made, and made of the dust the peace of heart and spirit that we seek. Made like with tender mercy and loving care just like that dust God took in hand to shape the first creatures, man and woman. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We may be dust, but dust that we are, we are loved... loved, made whole, and made new by the resurrection of Jesus who has shown us in his death and resurrection that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nothing can separate us from God’s love. That is the secret scratched in the ash and imposed on our foreheads. Nothing can separate us from God’s love.” Peace and Grace to you as we approach Lent, Rachel P.S. I found Jon Walton’s sermon here: http://www.fpcnyc.org/sermons/2004/pdfs/040225.pdf

From the DOD:
One day a couple of years ago, when Mary and Lydia were 4 years old, I picked them up from pre-school and headed to the store to get our shopping done. As we were riding along Lydia told me that she needed some new crayons for Ms. Debbie’s class. She said that hers had worn down and she had to borrow some from the teacher. I told her we would pick some up at the store while we were there. I asked Mary if she also needed some. She said she did. I commented that hers must have worn down as well. She said that they had not worn down yet. I asked her why she felt that she needed new crayons too. Without hesitation she replied “Because mine won’t color in the lines.” I laughed and told her that I knew how she felt. At the Consultants Training Event I heard some information that confirmed something I had already suspected. The church is no longer “staying within the lines”. Phyllis Tickle, an authority on religion in America shared with our group some fascinating information about what is happening to the Church in this generation. It is emerging. Before you “yack “on any preconceived notions you may have about Emergent Churches, take a look at these adjectives that describe emerging worship: Authentic, Communal, Dynamic, Faithful, Multicultural, Expressive, and Ecumenical. As I was listening to and attempting to process the huge amounts of information presented last week, I realized something. I believe that our church has been emerging all along. Before the word “emergent” was a buzz word, we were already trying to live as authentic, dynamic, faithful Christians in the Scottsboro CP Church. And as Roy noted Sunday, we are very ecumenical. If that’s the case, then I’m not afraid of this Emergent Movement. Now, granted, since a little knowledge is dangerous, I’ll hush about all of this for a while. But I’ll be praying a lot about it… “For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can't you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!” (Galatians 6:14-16 –The Message) Peace of Christ, Rachel

Mary and Lydia are about as different as 2 sisters can be. They are obviously not identical twins and neither are their personalities. I love them equally and uniquely and they seem to tolerate me pretty well. Mary tends to be more of a morning person. But if she is not ready to get up she is very grouchy. Lydia is pleasant enough in the mornings, but that may be because she stays half asleep until she gets on the bus. Once, when they were in pre-school I went into their room to wake them. I thought I’d be clever and call them the names of two of the dwarfs from the story of Snow White (and yes, I can name all 7). I fell onto their bed and dramatically said “What is this we have here?! I see two dwarfs in this bed…” I looked at Mary and exclaimed “I see Grumpy!” then to Lydia, “And I see Sleepy!” Lydia rolled over slowly and looked at me through sleep-squinted eyes. She stared at me for a few seconds and wryly remarked “And I see Dopey.” Ouch. Where do they get that biting sense of humor? Roy talked to the children Sunday about names. This got me to thinking about names as I listened to my two tell their names. I named them for people in my family; Mary after my mother and Lydia’s middle name, Rebecca, is for my niece, Myra, who shares this middle name. I didn’t know it at the time, but I found out that my great-great grandmother’s name was also Lydia. My mother named me for the Rachel in the Bible. She was terribly unhappy in her marriage and hoped for me to be as dear to a man as Rachel was to Jacob. I still choke on the irony of that a bit. But the name I’m most proud to be called is also a family name. I share it with all of you as brothers and sisters in Christ. Peace and Grace to you, fellow Christians! I’ve enclosed a copy of our family tradition. It’s often tough to follow but it’s what makes us Christians. -Rachel “Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good. Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself. Never give up. Eagerly follow the Holy Spirit and serve the Lord. Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying. Take care of God's needy people and welcome strangers into your home. Ask God to bless everyone who mistreats you. Ask him to bless them and not to curse them. When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad. Be friendly with everyone. Don't be proud and feel that you are smarter than others. Make friends with ordinary people. Don't mistreat someone who has mistreated you. But try to earn the respect of others, and do your best to live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:9-18 (Contemporary English Version)